Wednesday, February 19, 2014



Genre: NA sci-fi/fantasy


All her life, Apolline heard the story of the lost Princess of Tyrone and the sleeping curse the sorceress placed on her at birth. But never once did she consider she could be the princess. She’s happy hunting magical creatures on her pirate infested outer-perimeter planet, betrothed to someone she doesn’t even know.
Then Allard appears. Handsome, charming—suddenly everything becomes complicated. But he’s not hers to have. He’s betrothed too. Despite her guardians warning her against her new found friendship, she and Allard meet in secret, and their love blossoms.
But the deadline for the sleeping curse is approaching. If Apolline falls in love with the wrong person, she could end up sleeping forever.

First Sentence:

Apolline giggled from under her bed. 


  1. This seems like a take on Sleeping Beauty. Very cool! Good luck with this!

  2. What I like: A Sleeping Beauty update is great fun!

    What I would like: But I would love more showing and less telling –I want to see these characters. Also, the last line confuses me- we’ve only been presented with one love interest, so what’s to make us think he’s not the one? Also, why would loving the wrong guy affect the curse?

    Great job!

  3. I love sci fi fairy tales, and this one sounds great. I'd suggest just a couple of changes to your pitch. First, I think the first two lines should be in present tense so they match the rest of the blurb. I wonder, too, if she's really happy to be betrothed to someone she doesn't even know. That seems like the sort of thing that could throw a girl for a loop. Maybe we could hear a little something about her betrothed so we get a better sense of how she feels about the situation?

    I'd also change "the sleeping curse is approaching" to "the sleeping curse approaches" to make it more active.

  4. Wow. So many cool pieces to this puzzle! I'm a bit confused about the nature of the curse and why her romantic choices have anything to do with it though. Feel like a little clarity would give the end of the pitch the perfect zing! :)

  5. I can see what's at stake so that's good. I take issue with her just being perfectly happy about being betrothed to someone she doesn't know without any background. Was she raised to believe in arranged marriages? I think your target audience would take issue with that without a bit of explantation. I personally dislike women characters that go just along with what they are told. The fact that she is brave enough to hunt magical creatures makes me think she has bit of fight in her. So I would like to see that side of her a bit more in this pitch.


Please leave your courteous and professional comments for the writer! We'd love to hear from you! : )