Title: SNAP
Genre: YA Contemporary
Pitch:
In the CUTTING EDGE meets ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS, Seventeen-year-old Kate Reddy has sacrificed school, family, and a social life to be a figure skating champion. But when hot hockey player Brice tears up the ice, Kate's blade is caught in a rut, and an ACL injury ruins her Olympic dreams. Despite her feelings for him, Kate blames Brice for ruining her career. She doesn’t know who she is anymore without figure skating. Her estranged physician father suggests an experimental treatment that might heal her knee by next season, but Kate must learn to trust him again, and realize there is more to her identity than skating.
First sentence:
I yank hard on my skate laces, not caring how they dig into my calloused fingers.
Ooooh I LOVE THE CUTTING EDGE! This sounds really cute, though I'm wondering what the treatment is and why she would have to trust Brice for it.
ReplyDeleteThis is very timely right now! And your comp titles are great. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteBeing a hockey fan, and former (not very good) ice skater, I love the concept! Great first line that takes me back to fresh ice, sharp blades.
ReplyDeleteFor your last sentence, consider switching it up to: but Kate must learn to trust him again, and discover if there's more to her identity than skating
Pitch is great!
ReplyDeleteFirst sentence concerns me. Is the entire piece written in present tense?
What concerns you? First person for the whole novel is perfectly normal in YA.
DeleteI agree with Stacey. First person present tense is highly acceptable for YA.
DeleteI love this premise! (Plus I'm a big "Cutting Edge" fan...so you lured me in with that comp! =) Very timely premise as well. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThis looks really cool! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI agree that the last line of the pitch was confusing. But overall the pitch was intriguing and made my curious to read more. I think you could infuse a bit more detail and voice into it though. I get a sense of the plot but not a lot of character insight and I think you could make it stronger by shifting the focus a little. Love the first line and how it pulls me straight into the present moment. Well done! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I really like this one! I have nothing to add here, other than present tense is fine for YA. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhat I like: Agreed, the comp titles are great.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would like: This may be me, but I found the query a tad telly—I didn’t really see any of the elements and that made it fall flat for me. I would love to really see these characters and get a sense of your storytelling style.
Great job!
I really like this one! I would have like to have seen a bit more on the stakes side, but it's probably right for a contemporary.
ReplyDelete