Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Entry #55: THIRTY DÍAS


Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance


Elephant-sized mosquitoes. Rebel uprisings. Kidnapping by lemurs. Twenty-one-year-old Annie London is prepared for anything that could happen in the Nicaraguan jungle, as long as she makes it out with a medical school letter of recommendation in hand. She’s not prepared for Felipe, the quiet, dimpled doctor charged with supervising her work.

As they travel through bone-soaking rains, setting up clinics and handing out mosquito nets, the spark between Annie and Felipe ignites. But when Annie’s meddling brings the wrath of an entire village on the brigade, their relationship and their careers are sunk. Stuck together in the jungle for ten more days, they have to find a way to work together to save lives – and maybe even their fledgling relationship.

First Sentence:

It had been a cereal for dinner, vodka for dessert kind of flight.


  1. I LOVE your first line. It's funny and the voice is perfect. And the pitch is very good; I know exactly what the conflict of this story is.

  2. I'm really intrigued by this one! The pitch is well outlined, the stakes are specific and clear, and the voice is compelling. Would definitely read more of this. Well done!

  3. Love your first line! It makes me wonder what happened to make her feel this way, and I'd def. read more.

    Your pitch sets up a story that sounds like lots of fun: romance, Nicaragua, a LI, and plenty of conflict.

    Best of luck with it!

  4. So far, this is definitely one of my faves!! So happy to see a foreign setting and a leading man of color!! He sounds great. Wondering if there is a specific danger/disease they are fighting in that last 10 days--it wasn't clear to me if something catastrophic happens that causes them to save lives at that point, or if that has been their mission all along. Also love the opening line. Good luck!!

  5. I love the first line of your manuscript and the query. I like the list and the query is clean. The setting and the premise are strong. I would like to read this.

    Good luck!

  6. What I like: This is awesome; the first line is fabulous!

    What I would like: I really think this is great. If I were really being picky I would love to ‘see’ more in the last sentence.

    Great job!

  7. This sounds like tremendous fun and the first line is hilarious - although I'd change lemurs to a primate that actually lives in South American (maybe Howler Monkeys).


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