tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post526441854959849461..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #55: THIRTY DÍASMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-896825177513415172014-02-21T19:08:17.996-05:002014-02-21T19:08:17.996-05:00This sounds like tremendous fun and the first line...This sounds like tremendous fun and the first line is hilarious - although I'd change lemurs to a primate that actually lives in South American (maybe Howler Monkeys).Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11041461048761520454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-11618058583642141682014-02-21T09:17:21.613-05:002014-02-21T09:17:21.613-05:00What I like: This is awesome; the first line is fa...What I like: This is awesome; the first line is fabulous!<br /><br />What I would like: I really think this is great. If I were really being picky I would love to ‘see’ more in the last sentence.<br /><br />Great job!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-52298189907894113532014-02-20T22:15:13.924-05:002014-02-20T22:15:13.924-05:00I love the first line of your manuscript and the q...I love the first line of your manuscript and the query. I like the list and the query is clean. The setting and the premise are strong. I would like to read this.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06005931879084233011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-40377040433192430452014-02-20T13:26:42.049-05:002014-02-20T13:26:42.049-05:00I really like your first line. I really like your first line. rena traxelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09984425188567295761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-87724361051369925162014-02-20T13:08:25.775-05:002014-02-20T13:08:25.775-05:00So far, this is definitely one of my faves!! So ha...So far, this is definitely one of my faves!! So happy to see a foreign setting and a leading man of color!! He sounds great. Wondering if there is a specific danger/disease they are fighting in that last 10 days--it wasn't clear to me if something catastrophic happens that causes them to save lives at that point, or if that has been their mission all along. Also love the opening line. Good luck!!HEATHER LYNNE DAVIShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04324491728569039272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-31463018276456331892014-02-19T22:23:46.705-05:002014-02-19T22:23:46.705-05:00I would LOVE to read this!I would LOVE to read this!Joy Slaughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04488112728458014023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-79248623146824922742014-02-19T14:47:01.011-05:002014-02-19T14:47:01.011-05:00Love your first line! It makes me wonder what happ...Love your first line! It makes me wonder what happened to make her feel this way, and I'd def. read more.<br /><br />Your pitch sets up a story that sounds like lots of fun: romance, Nicaragua, a LI, and plenty of conflict. <br /><br />Best of luck with it!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16519250456239966742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-2993019272322814722014-02-19T14:09:17.535-05:002014-02-19T14:09:17.535-05:00I'm really intrigued by this one! The pitch is...I'm really intrigued by this one! The pitch is well outlined, the stakes are specific and clear, and the voice is compelling. Would definitely read more of this. Well done!Kimberly Vanderhorsthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01653757517652257445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-10728740122865848122014-02-19T12:59:50.637-05:002014-02-19T12:59:50.637-05:00I LOVE your first line. It's funny and the voi...I LOVE your first line. It's funny and the voice is perfect. And the pitch is very good; I know exactly what the conflict of this story is. KRwriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10596501804724165801noreply@blogger.com