Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Entry #75: SUMMER OF HOPE

Title: SUMMER OF HOPE

Genre: YA Contemporary


Pitch:

After her brother’s death, sixteen-year-old Callie wants nothing more than to shut down and give up. Forced to go to her family’s summer vacation home, she resolves to erase the pain anyway she can.

Then she meets Ethan, and soon finds herself drawn to his sweet ways and sexy smile. She ends up falling for him in a big way—until she realizes he's hiding a secret that will change everything. Ethan came to the beach to escape, to live without the label. Because his label is the kid with Hodgkin's disease.
Callie is left with the choice of standing by Ethan's side and watching another person she loves die, or leaving and losing all hope of believing in love again. Fight or flight? Callie's decision kick-starts a dramatic series of events that will change not only her own life, but the lives of everyone around her, forever.

First sentence:

"I watched my twin brother die, and couldn't do a thing to stop it."

14 comments:

  1. This sounds like a heart-wrenching story. I would like to know more about what she does to erase her pain (sex, drugs etc?). Anyways this is something I would love to read. Good luck!

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  2. Sounds like a hard novel to read, but I don't mind heart-wrenching if it's done well.

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  3. You had me at sweet ways and sexy smile! I think your title could be more creative actually--maybe more concrete and descriptive. Can you hint a bit more at the dramatic series of events? Love the phrase "fight or flight?" I am definitely intrigued and want to know more about them both!

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    1. This is where I always get stuck, because in a kind of twist, Callie is the one that lands in the hospital fighting for her life after she didn't deal well with the revelation, and he is the one standing by her side for quite a while.

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    2. Whoa, her decision lands her in the hospital? I think you should definitely put that in instead of "dramatic events," although, you seem to have caught some fans without it.

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  4. Great pitch. The last line is very intriguing. I'd want to read the book to find out what happens, although I think I would need a huge box of tissues. I agree about the title. It's a little vague and I think you could come up with something more heartfelt to go with the storyline.

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  5. Thank you so much everyone for the nice comments and well wishes!! =)

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  6. Oh...side note about the title, there is a very specific reason this title ends up being relevant. =)

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  7. I don't know what Hodgkin's disease is so you might consider explaining it, or in the pitch just saying "terminally ill" or something. Otherwise this looks good.

    I suggest checking out Where You'll Find Me, which seems to have some similarities here. Might be a good comp title.

    Good luck

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  8. I agree with the positive comments already made, this sounds fabulous. Be wary of cliche though. You have a lot of phrases in your pitch which come across that way and pull me out of the story a bit. "falling for him in a big way" "a secret that will change everything" "losing all hope" etc . . . I think if you find a way to express these ideas in ways more specific to your character and her story, this pitch will come beautifully to life. :) Good luck!

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    1. Thanks for your suggestions! I appreciate it!

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  9. What I like: Nice and clean pitch--

    What I would like: Now dirty it up! No, but seriously, I need to see more of what makes your story unique and more of your unique voice to set this apart from similar stories.


    Great job!

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    1. Thank you! I admit, pitches/queries are ten thousand times harder for me than writing the ms. I am always told my voice is fun and realistic in the actual ms....but in a pitch? Not so much. =/ I'm working on it.

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