Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Title: Hard To Breathe

Genre: YA Contemporary/ pinch of magical realism


Sixteen-year old half-Black/ half-Greek Mo Anestis is shocked when he receives an unexpected gift from his estranged father that’s intended to help with Mo’s insomnia. Except, the trial version of the iPod app propels Mo into a semi-conscious, lucid dream-like state, in which his abilities are limitless, even when he's awake.
Using the app, Mo makes the basketball team and leads them to a tournament championship over a nationally ranked powerhouse. But not everyone is impressed with Mo’s success. A teammate threatens to expose Mo’s secret for the good of the team.
Mo’s Cinderella existence runs thin when the app stops working, however. Everything he holds dear unravels. Mo must either come to grips with all he’s lost or call his dad for the latest version of the app. Except, Mo would rather chew glass and walk over burning coals than ask his father for anything.

First Sentence:

Dreams are like sunsets, beautiful and fleeting.  


  1. What I like: I like idea of an app giving powers.

    What I would like: I feel a bit unsure about Mo and what he wants.

    Great work!

  2. Such a cool concept! I'm left with a huge question though. If he hates his father so much he won't ask for an update of the app, why on earth did he accept and use it in the first place? Having a bit of trouble sorting it out in my head. Clarifying Mo's motivations would really cement the pitch. Congrats on what sounds like a fab story!

  3. I like this--it's really different. Good luck!

  4. I so love the use of the app (that's really different). I second Kimberly I didn't quite understand why he would use the app if he hated his father.


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