Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Title: What Lies Between

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy


Seventeen-year-old Grace Armstrong craves sanity the way some girls crave chocolate. But every time she catches a glimpse of her reflection, a snarling horde of burning-boned beasts crowds out her image. Either she’s crazy or monsters have been stalking her all her life. Hell of a choice. When a boy named Luke replaces the monsters in her mirror one night, Grace learns nothing's crazier than falling for someone you can never touch. As Grace risks both her life and her grip on reality to stop the man behind the monsters, she’ll discover that strength isn’t the same as not breaking, and that long distance relationships don’t suck half as bad as inter-dimensional ones.

First Sentence:

Silence fell in a slow crash as I pulled away from the keys, the final chords fading into stillness.


  1. LOVE how the pitch came together. Great last line! You make it look so easy, but I know how much hard work went into this. Can't wait to read it!

  2. Your writing is so poetic! I love it!

  3. I loved everything about this pitch! :) The title, the concept, and especially this line: "Seventeen-year-old Grace Armstrong craves sanity the way some girls crave chocolate."

    Best of luck to you! You can count on a vote from me.

  4. This really is beautifully written! So romantic! Poetic! Best Wishes.

  5. This sounds really good and the stakes are pretty clear. I did find this sentence a bit of mouthful and tripped over it a bit "But every time she catches a glimpse of her reflection, a snarling horde of burning-boned beasts crowds out her image" Could you condense this a bit. Maybe take out "burning-boned". Good luck!

  6. I absolutely love the first sentence of your pitch! I'd definitely want to read more of your story.

    I wonder if the third line would read better if you tweak it a bit. Something like: Either she’s crazy or monsters are stalking her.

  7. What I like: I think this is really accomplished – it follows the format – character—conflict-stakes- without feeling formulaic. It feels effortless.

    What I would like: Being picky, ‘burning-boned beasts’ is nice alliteration but a tough visual.

    Also, I love that last line!!!


    Great job!

  8. Nice pitch, Kimberly! Hope it goes far :)


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