Sunday, February 23, 2014



New Adult Contemporary


When Anna accepts her friend Coy’s invitation to join him and his uncle on a Shakespeare Festival roadtrip, she only sees it as a last hurrah before Coy goes back to Chicago. She never expected to fall in love while watching Othello smother Desdemona with a pillow.

Their romance has the potential to be more than just a summer fling when Coy asks Anna to move to Chicago. But Anna’s father, a widower, has always dreamed that Anna would remain at home and finish her education at the same school where he met Anna’s mother.

Anna’s impending move threatens to destroy their relationship, which has always been the most important one in her life. She can be a dutiful daughter or a woman in love—but not both.

Like the Bard says, the course of true love never does run smooth.

First Sentence:

The thick manila envelope from the University of Oregon is staring at me.


  1. I love everything about this pitch. The Othello and Desdemona line is brilliant, and a Shakespeare Festival Roadtrip sounds like a lot of fun. I really like the first line, too- it definitely draws me in. Something about the sensory details of the thick manila envelope, and the conflict of what's inside. I definitely want to read more!

  2. There's nothing I don't like about your submission, but my favorite bits are the title and the idea of setting a story at a Shakespeare festival. Brilliant!

    Good luck!

  3. Don't have much to pick apart in this one! Love the voice that comes across in the pitch, and the premise and conflict are clear. A solid NA plot/premise. Good luck!

  4. Great voice and great concept! The only thing I'm worried about is whether or not there is enough at stake for Anna. If going away to college could really ruin her relationship with her father, it doesn’t sound like a very strong relationship to begin with. Just a thought.

  5. I have to mirror AYAP Judge 1's concern about this father/daughter relationship. OTherwise, this is a strong pitch though. Love the concept!


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