tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post5710219059253664684..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #7: THOSE FIVE DAYSMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-53951054669352215542014-09-01T14:02:58.963-04:002014-09-01T14:02:58.963-04:00Great job on these paragraphs. I definitely feel f...Great job on these paragraphs. I definitely feel for CeCe and want to see her succeed. I am also intrigued by the letter and the stranger and want to find out more. Great job on description as well and setting the time and location so clearly.<br />Thanks!Halli Gomezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09667712458691917486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-13948725293515591132014-08-30T11:07:11.595-04:002014-08-30T11:07:11.595-04:00I love stories with well-developed, engaging chara...I love stories with well-developed, engaging characters. Just from this little excerpt, I can tell CeCe definitely fits that description. There is also that strong text-to-real world connection that teens love. I'm definitely intrigued. More please!Ms. Rileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02194796457532330538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-47569586928487874342014-08-29T19:10:18.990-04:002014-08-29T19:10:18.990-04:00I really like this detail:
"I stabbed myself...I really like this detail: <br />"I stabbed myself on my “Know My Playlist. Know My Soul” pin." It's small, but somehow I think it tells a lot about the character. <br /><br />You managed to really locate the story well - and I we jump right in with CeCe without needing any more explanation than we get. <br /><br />I had some trouble with the line:<br />"The Stranger." <br /><br />Which I think would be entirely cleared up if it was something like "It was from the stranger." <br /><br />I have no idea why but I had to read it twice before I realized that was just her realizing who the other envelope was from. <br /><br />I would certainly read more!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14820659522541825744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-24354982398455354102014-08-29T11:56:24.913-04:002014-08-29T11:56:24.913-04:00First sentence - READING not writing!First sentence - READING not writing!eburchillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16997115411563175357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-1840469570955744232014-08-29T11:55:24.708-04:002014-08-29T11:55:24.708-04:00The authenticity this author writes with in this e...The authenticity this author writes with in this excerpt makes me want to keep writing. His/her passion for writing shines through in the short, clear, concise sentences that I think are perfect for YA writing. Adults and students alike so often appreciate this style of writing - it's my favorite!<br /><br />This excerpt left me wanting to keep reading and learn more about what's in store for the characters!eburchillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16997115411563175357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-25005085859575523662014-08-29T00:26:14.989-04:002014-08-29T00:26:14.989-04:00You build tension in these first few pages, and I ...You build tension in these first few pages, and I also liked what I saw of Cece and her father. Like Laurie, I thought she was getting an acceptance letter, so the tension sort of deflated when I realized she wasn't. Also, the suddenness of the Stranger idea was kind of jarring, considering that Cece is still riled about the package.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-32414621189974182842014-08-27T18:04:57.377-04:002014-08-27T18:04:57.377-04:00Great sense of mystery in these pages! I also love...Great sense of mystery in these pages! I also loved the relationship between Cece and Papi. At first, I thought she was excited about an acceptance letter, though later I realized it was an application. Sounds like a cool concept! Best of luck to you.Laurie Dennisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089552813955890768noreply@blogger.com