tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post5167516739082302856..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #31: THE NEWCOMERMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-50186364923839814692014-08-30T13:48:17.463-04:002014-08-30T13:48:17.463-04:00Interesting premise; I wonder what's going to ...Interesting premise; I wonder what's going to happen between Anima and Evelyn. I feel like everything went by too fast for me to catch up. I was asking myself how this world works, how Anima's powers worked, how they're going to find/take care of Evelyn, etc. Maybe focus a little more on setting and movement to balance all of the dialogue.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-69681115227341106942014-08-29T15:39:10.819-04:002014-08-29T15:39:10.819-04:00I wonder if the main character will be Anima or Ev...I wonder if the main character will be Anima or Evelyn? This seems like a twist on the 'fairy godmother' story, either way. <br /><br />I did feel a little adrift in terms of setting. From the names and references to magic I thought at first it might be medieval, but then the bedroom has a light switch and they go to an apartment building - so clearly modern. That's perfectly good, I just would have liked to be on more firm footing sooner. <br /><br />Describing Anima thrashing in bed, the physical layout of the bedroom - some more details would make it easier to picture. <br /><br />Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14820659522541825744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-11589453979983073932014-08-28T13:20:56.221-04:002014-08-28T13:20:56.221-04:00You've got some interesting characters and a c...You've got some interesting characters and a cool concept here. I did have to reread the first few sentences because the names were so similar, and I would have liked a little more setting description just to feel grounded. Best of luck to you!Laurie Dennisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089552813955890768noreply@blogger.com