tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post6186858163728949751..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #47: THE VIRTUE OF SINMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-67961299395342211192014-08-31T20:00:10.239-04:002014-08-31T20:00:10.239-04:00I would read on just to find out more about the cu...I would read on just to find out more about the culture--it's intriguing. I like too that you've raised several mysteries: Will she end up with Boaz? What happens if she's caught? Like eachstaraworld, I was confused by the genre. I expect contemporary to be in a mostly familiar culture in the present day. This is lovely, but it doesn't feel contemporary.Rosalynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13533288555696717340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-9823731842741579062014-08-30T22:42:13.022-04:002014-08-30T22:42:13.022-04:00I love this so far. The writing flows well, the wo...I love this so far. The writing flows well, the world is at once detailed and just vague enough to keep the reader interested, and I'm already sympathetic towards the MC. I only take pause at the "contemporary" genre. You mention the Mojave, but so far as I know, there isn't a culture like this living there. You also mention New Jerusalem, so I Googled it, and it looks like this is a prophecy made about a future city where the Holy Temple will be rebuilt (or so Wikipedia tells me). If this takes place in the future, that's definitely not contemporary. I wish I could see the pitch so that I knew for sure what the setting/culture is. Other than that, you've done a great job with this.<br /><br />Best of luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-36086920224829297202014-08-29T11:57:26.762-04:002014-08-29T11:57:26.762-04:00This reminded me of The Handmaid's Tale. Good ...This reminded me of The Handmaid's Tale. Good characterization, and I feel like I've already been able to pick up a lot about the world without the details feeling heavy handed at all. <br /><br />I like the squeal of the microphone - it's startling. It doesn't seem to fit the archaic society they live in. It raises questions. It makes me wonder what the rest of the world is like outside this city. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14820659522541825744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-58791680951125349102014-08-27T14:06:24.525-04:002014-08-27T14:06:24.525-04:00I really love the tone you've set here! It'...I really love the tone you've set here! It's a little creepy, with strong world building that's shown and not told. Awesome! At first I did question that this was contemporary, though I'm assuming your query would set up the cult angle and an agent would expect it. I would definitely read moreLaurie Dennisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089552813955890768noreply@blogger.com