tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post5786324541062256867..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #77 - IVAN AND GREY WOLFMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-10929715424744745072014-03-01T17:05:36.918-05:002014-03-01T17:05:36.918-05:00I'm very curious about an autistic character b...I'm very curious about an autistic character but I didn't quite get a sense for him in this pitch. However, I loved the line "He is Durochka, the little fool". <br /><br />The firebird line made me think this had more of a fairytale flavor, and didn't fit with the science fiction parts, though with a little clearer setup this could certainly work. <br /><br />This pitch had some intriguing elements and a lot of emotion, but could use more coherence/clarity.AYAP Judge Twohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02686657575192030157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-27662593189825567602014-03-01T01:38:37.482-05:002014-03-01T01:38:37.482-05:00Judge comment: Ivan sounds like a really interesti...Judge comment: Ivan sounds like a really interesting character. But I'm really thrown by him killing his mother. It's a powerful hook, but you kind of ignore it for the rest of the pitch.Lisa Gail Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03648323153868702165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-5937159232542316342014-02-26T20:30:31.874-05:002014-02-26T20:30:31.874-05:00Would definitely keep reading on this one! The onl...Would definitely keep reading on this one! The only part that threw me was the comp of the Lunar Chronicles. Maybe you're using it because it's a new take on a fairy tale (as those books are), but I was trying to see some other tie in and was stumped. In my opinion, comps work best when you say why you're using it as a comparison: whether it's "the wry humor of A Series of Unfortunate Events", or the "vivid worldbuilding of Scott Westerfield's Leviathin series", etc. Good luck!AYAP Judge 1https://www.blogger.com/profile/16182849395867360908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-26865924960650046272014-02-25T05:59:39.076-05:002014-02-25T05:59:39.076-05:00Just a quick note - Forest Gump was a book before ...Just a quick note - Forest Gump was a book before it was a movie. Love this pitch. SM Johnstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03546994863993080465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-9524849432144220882014-02-23T15:09:21.032-05:002014-02-23T15:09:21.032-05:00You've done such a beautiful job of clarifying...You've done such a beautiful job of clarifying your story here. The original pitch made it difficult to tell what genre you were writing in, and this is a much better illustration. I'm definitely intrigued by the strange mix of different elements here. You've presented us with a puzzle that I'm keen to put together. Well done. The only thing I'm not sure about is the Forest Gump reference. But that could just be me. I prefer comparison titles to be books rather than TV shows and movies, but I know trends change. :) Best of luck to you!Kimberly Vanderhorsthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01653757517652257445noreply@blogger.com