tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post3266829711973605218..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #46: APOTHECARY OF FORBIDDEN CLOCKSMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-51049977823187508992014-09-04T10:22:01.607-04:002014-09-04T10:22:01.607-04:00The details are so fantastic that I already envisi...The details are so fantastic that I already envision the characters perfectly. More please! :-) Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08112251999154020966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-82005016656922580692014-09-03T22:06:39.951-04:002014-09-03T22:06:39.951-04:00Love the imagery, and the sense of mystery. I woul...Love the imagery, and the sense of mystery. I would totally read this. I want to know what happens next!Alok Baikadihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10902100681091690446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-55128545834946201702014-08-29T12:09:11.900-04:002014-08-29T12:09:11.900-04:00I enjoyed this as well!
I have one small suggest...I enjoyed this as well! <br /><br />I have one small suggestion. I had a tiny bit of temporal confusion going from the paragraph which starts "She remembered sitting on the floor that day" and is followed by "With a startling crash, her mother burst through the door.." Grammatically it was a bit hard to tell at first if the her mother bursting through the door was interrupting the memory or part of it. It becomes immediately obvious as you read, but perhaps a tweak to tenses or something. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14820659522541825744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-47399828339519384872014-08-28T20:37:44.446-04:002014-08-28T20:37:44.446-04:0010/10 would read.10/10 would read.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11631414664783757627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-58880231386847436832014-08-27T17:28:26.990-04:002014-08-27T17:28:26.990-04:00The writing here is just beautiful. You create a g...The writing here is just beautiful. You create a great tone and sense of mystery in the opening as well. I did wish we'd seen the older Arianna sooner, but I would definitely keep reading!Laurie Dennisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089552813955890768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-42563471732089260372014-08-26T16:07:04.265-04:002014-08-26T16:07:04.265-04:00I dig the steam punk vibe the characters seemed to...I dig the steam punk vibe the characters seemed to be giving off. The emotional tension was good and kept me interested in what the mother is/was all about and what the daughter is willing to learn..especially knowing how she is failing certain classes.<br />I'd enjoy reading more of this storyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09012228380761478039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-72548050678109814972014-08-26T10:21:18.928-04:002014-08-26T10:21:18.928-04:00So, when do I get to read the rest? I love it.So, when do I get to read the rest? I love it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14837430941972613250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-91993962235133580242014-08-26T10:01:57.057-04:002014-08-26T10:01:57.057-04:00Very much enjoyed this. I have a thing for good t...Very much enjoyed this. I have a thing for good titles, this one's intriguing. Seems like it ended a little abruptly, or could have left a better cliffhanger; but, if I was able to just keep reading (if you didn't have a word limit) I think it would work well. I know I'd continue with the story!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04708465449987305054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-26417775019457830592014-08-25T20:56:26.534-04:002014-08-25T20:56:26.534-04:00Wow, this is great, I wish I could read more. Love...Wow, this is great, I wish I could read more. Love the title. It drew me in instantly.S. Wunschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01007483169814358110noreply@blogger.com