tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post3222363724505796686..comments2023-06-24T08:30:59.493-04:00Comments on Adventures in YA Contests from: Entry #25: SEE YOU THEN, JOSHUA JACOBSMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5090356376347540893.post-22112058158672437112014-03-03T14:29:46.981-05:002014-03-03T14:29:46.981-05:00Suggest you change this grammar point in Pitch: sh...Suggest you change this grammar point in Pitch: she must decide whether [or not] to stand. . .Also suggest you clarify this line in Pitch: Suzie must [make her choice.] Loved the opening lines. Good hook. Suggest you rewrite “Why didn’t she get that. . .since Abby moved away.” Three “that’s” makes it awkward. Otherwise, I think this is an engaging beginning.AYAP Judge 1https://www.blogger.com/profile/16182849395867360908noreply@blogger.com